Temptation Part 1: “The Trap”

It was 1:02am and the man made his way to bed. Thoughts of how the next day would unfold reeled through his mind. He would be alone. The man wearily drifted to sleep dreading the daylight to come. Perhaps, he thought, his dreams would take the edge off of the day…that slumber could sate his desires.

The human’s enemy chuckled as it’s prey fell asleep. “Oh the plans I have for you,” it said to itself. The darkness was quite satisfied with it’s work so far. The human had played right into it’s trap. The plan was flawless, well…mostly flawless, there was an instance or two when it did not work out so well.

“Testimony,” it muttered, the darkness shuddered at the word. Testimony had caused much grief to it’s perfect plan…not to mention the resulting train wreak to the plans of it’s colleagues. However, this revised tactic was better; the tactic was old, some would say ancient, and it had worked time and time again.

The trap was set.

The man woke up somewhere between 9:46 to 10:00. He wasn’t quite sure what time it was, but he didn’t have anything to do that day, and so he hid inside his pillow trying to return to his dreams. This was after all his “day of rest.” The edginess of the day prior was not gone and he did not want to face the day.

His flesh was not pleased with last night, and it’s desires were not sated by the man’s dreamworld. The man’s flesh hungered, it had been sleeping for what felt like an eternity…this was much longer than usual. But, like clockwork, his flesh had awakened this season with all its sinful desires. Oddly enough the man’s flesh was a dead creature, it had been slain a long time ago, and by some kind of necromancy it was called into being.

“Wake up! Be sober, be vigilant!”

The man groggily arose from his bed. He was made aware of the war within him and that his ally was fighting for him. The Spirit had been through many battles with the man against his necromantic flesh. The Spirit knew this flesh had a vendetta against the man ever since he was a child. It’s great desire was to consume the man, to devour him completely, to make him a slave. And the Spirit was aware of the man’s other enemy, the darkness. Both had conspired against him this day. But the Spirit was with him. The Holy Spirit was for the man.

He was not alone.

Hear from heaven

When heaven is shut up and there is no rain because they have sinned against you, if they pray toward this place and acknowledge your name and turn from their sin, when you afflict them, then hear from heaven and forgive the sin of your servants, your people Israel, when you teach them the good way in which they should walk, and grant rain upon your land, which you have given to your people as an inheritance.
– 1 Kings 8:35-36

This passage makes an interesting focus on why a people are called to righteousness by God. They are His. The land is His. Their sin directly effects the very nature of the inheritance given them. This passage does not focus on a “do this, get that” exchange. At its core, this string of repentant passages deals with the inability of man to sufficiently provide a balanced and peace filled existence. Man cannot control the heavens, having no ability to change nature, mankind petitions to it’s maker. The mind of man is so far from the knowledge of God, yet, God is so close and teaches His children. He teaches them His nature, His name, He teaches them of righteousness. Man has not the way within himself, but the Lord will direct His steps on a good path. It is the Lord who directs nature, and it is the Lord who can direct the nature of man.

In this moment my mind races over too many things. I can barely think straight. My worries of where I will live in the next week, of how I may end up in Costa Rica…naturally comparing my trip funds against others in the team…thinking that perhaps they are more “called” than I, and that I will be left alone. I hate the feeling of being left alone. It stirs up old feelings of abandonment within. My worries of calling, finances, and future all culminating together as a subtle but perfect storm. I feel weak, bored, lonely and afraid. Unsure of what lies next…what will I turn to?
– May 22 2013

No longer king

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
– Galatians 5:24-25

ESV notes:
Again, Christ and the Spirit come together as the source of the believer’s life. Christians have crucified the flesh, or died with Christ to sin. Now that the old order of things has passed away for believers; their old sinful selves that belonged to that order have crumbled as well – so they should pay no attention to them. “Flesh” here should not be understood to mean physical bodies but rather fallen, sinful human nature with all its desires. To “walk by the Spirit” means to “walk in line behind a leader.”

I have a tendency to see what is wrong within me or mull over mistakes of the past. This is unhealthy. The old sinful self of Bryan has crumbled…it’s order, rule, and laws I do not heed…it’s kingdom of fleshly subjects are no more. No longer do I need to pay attention to their wanting cries to justify selfish desires. Instead I am called to a life of “Remembrance.” No longer king, but now a subject to a higher authority…a benevolent king to lead before. This life of remembrance now looks boldly in the future because it sees the goodness of God through times past. Now by grace I have all that I need to live upright under this rulership…simply because I am no more. He who lives within me (His Holy Spirit) is greater than my crumbling world.

Lord, I submit to your authority…where you lead I will follow. Cause my attention to be set upon your Spirit at all times, no longer holding on to broken walls. Lead me by your Spirit…I will follow.
Amen

The fire shall not go out

Fire shall be kept burning on the alter continually; it shall not go out.
– Leviticus 6:13

The Lord provided a place where men might be made right with God. It is here at the alter where we see the sevarity of our sin; but also the God who provides, the God who forgives, the God who is greater than sin.
I believe this alter burns for two reasons:
1) Because of our proclivity towards sin, man will continually need to return…ancient sacrifices were not an end all, it simply covered over sin. This however, was completed through Christ’s death: the perfect sacrifice.
2) Because of the nature of who God is, He desires man to be close to him…the fire burns on this alter as an open hand of friendship and forgiveness.

Though the method of sacrifice has changed from the many imperfect coverings, to now, the perfect sacrifice found in Christ, God has not. He does not change and His heart still desires that I would be drawn close to Him. His open hand of friendship and forgiveness is now found through Christ. Sacrifice has also changed in this way: That I would be made blameless, a living sacrifice, coming to the realization of why his words burn within. This HolyScripture given to us is the fire of a sanctified life…a life of righteousness before God through Christ; through this fire we may look more and more like His Son. It is through this Holy Scripture that we are made holy (set apart) for our awesome God.

Father in this season of time you feel distant, yet I know that you are present…you are with me. Help me not to lean on my own understanding of who you are and what you are doing. Burn my preconceived notions of you and sanctify me with your words. Be near me my dear friend, speak to me for times grow dark.
– Bryan

The meditations of the heart

Who can discern errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!
Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
– Psalms 19:13-14

This psalm is written as a sacrifice before God. Its surrounding passage points to the unspoken words of creation which magnify the worship of The Most High. With the law as a prime example of the character and nature of God, man has no excuse not to know deep within that He IS.

Father even now in this temptation I need your help to be made clean. The closed crevasses of my heart are bent in wickedness. Even I in my inward introvertedness do not know what lies within my heart…nor do I know the deep motives of my soul. When the choice comes help me Holy Spirit…help me to do the will of my Father.
Amen

To rule over sin

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. It’s desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”
– Genesis 4:6-7

In this story, the world is just beginning we are introduced to the character of sin; more so, sin as a wild beast that seeks to devour man. What I find interesting is God’s desire that man would rule over sin. I do not think I have ever thought of sin as a subject to be managed, it’s been more like something to avoid, to “not do”. But in this story we see sin as almost a separate entity with it’s own set of desires, motives, and cravings. This monster is seen in the eyes of God as a subject of dominion. Not only is man to take dominion over the beasts of the earth, but over the beast of sin as well.

Sadly my realm of rule has not been effectively taking charge, confronting or conflicting with this wild beast. It’s desire is to consume and devour. I must recognize it’s cravings and wantings are not truly my own. In making them my own, I choose to take up the mantle of the beast…To live under a dominion not my own or under God’s…but to obey another, a will of ill intent.

To forget

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

Paul a mature believer and personal “hero of the faith”, finds himself as not perfect; However, by faith he is able to take part in the love of God because of the work of Christ. He says he does one thing: to forget. To forget that which was achieved in vein, to forget the value that sin once held. Instead he pushes forward…building his trust in Christ, and beginning to know who he is.

My thoughts led me this morning to Paul’s call, to check our faith and find it to be true. My faith is not to be found within my own strength or my achievements of the past. My faith calls me to forget those sinful things and all their false worth. My faith calls me to rely, to ask for, to realize the need for the strength found in the Spirit of God. This day I know God as a helper, a counsellor and strength giver.

Thank you Lord, for I can rely on you…your gentle voice leading me towards nights of peace. Help me to forget that which was lost and vein…help me to continually look for your strength.
Amen

Looking like Judas

Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.”

ESV Notes:
Judas’ feelings of remorse and his attempt to return the blood money are recorded only by Matthew. “Changed his mind” (Greek, metamelomai) Judas experienced feelings of regret and remorse, but this is less than “repentance” (Greek, metanoia) which means a change of heart.

Judas, one of Jesus’ disciples, a close friend; the treasure holder, a leader, and one of the twelve pillars of Jesus’ ministry. Judas the rebel, now leader in ministry messes up…big time. Instead of truly changing his heart, he chooses to live in regret and guilt, finding he cannot live with it for long; realizing he put the life of one who truly loved him at stake. This leads to his suicide.

Truthfully, Judas was not more responsible for the death of Christ than any of the other disciples…so why do we treat him as enemy #2? Casting blame on this man removes us from the mirror; the reflection that paints us within the same form, within the very colors of this Judas. In truth, we are as guilty, as twisted, as untrustworthy as this Judas. And the enemy of our souls would use the same trappings, the very same devices and designs on us.

‘This man is not my king’ he would whisper…taking agreement that Jesus has not truly freed me, or removed my problems which line up like a Roman platoon. ‘Neither has this man lead me to victory.’ True I would reply, and my enemies are alive and well, what happened to “Vengence is mine?” ‘I should do something about this, take matters in my own hands, be the good guy, play the hero for once.’ Yes, following this man does not win me any popularity contests, in fact I even find myself on the fringe of those I call my friends.

Then matters become our burden to lift; and rightfully so, we know what needs to happen, we can meet our needs. Our actions become blurred as the deed is done, hours passing as seconds, betrayal as swift as an arrow, hitting its mark with such precision. The moment then hits us as we realize the transaction paid, the look of betrayal played back through our minds, each second as an hour as guilt permeates within our core.

What have I done?

How many times have I known this place, the times spent betraying the one who cares for me the most. Guilt and regret, I know them well; however, repentance is a better friend, albeit one I spend the least amount of time with. But repentance is a rich friendship. It reconnects me with the ones I love. It turns me aside and walks me down a path tread with my knees. Though I may be in leadership, though I may find myself a friend of God, though I may take part in raising a ministry…and blow it…though I may look like a Judas, I become more and more like Jesus though repentance. Being conformed into his image, and not my own.

Lord your kindness leads me to repentance. I thank you for your loving kindness. Transform my heart, lead me to turn from my ways, call me into this life anew. May repentance become my good friend, not just a casual acquaintance. I trust you are my king. You have freed me. I trust we will face my enemies together. I trust in your victory. I trust that you are an avenger. In you I find my peace, my friendships, and true love. To you I give my burdens, to you I bring my needs, knowing that you have my best interest in mind. Thank you Lord that I no longer need to claim control.
Amen

Dramatic actions

Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!
And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire.

Jesus uses hyperbole to stress the importance of what he is teaching.

For me this scripture requires dramatic actions; that which I have access to which would lead to sin, must be removed.

Lord would you guide me to new freedoms. Work on my heart, the hurting parts of me.
Amen

Two perspectives of steadfast love pt.2

Calling the ten of his servants, he gave them ten minas, and said to them, ‘Engage in business until I come.’ – Luke 19:13

He said to him, ‘I will condemn you with your own words, you wicked servant! You knew that I was a severe man, taking what I did not deposit and reaping what I did not sow? – Luke 19:22

The Lord searches the heart. To the merciful he shows himself as such…to those who see him as irrational, he is wrathful. We condemn ourselves with our own words and so it is critical to our faith to know the heart of God. By engaging in sin we distance ourselves through our own ignorance of who he is. By running from him in fear, we embrace what seems to us as rational sin, creating within ourselves an irrational deity. Within our hearts His connection with us is as a harsh judge or tyrant…and those who follow Him are viewed as such. By living in our ignorences we become “judgemental,” justifying our objectification of God and people.

I believe this is why Jesus will say the words “Depart from me, I never knew you.” By my own ignorences I distance myself from His heart, from His grace, from loving kindness…doomed to sin under the rulership of a false god created between my temples.
Why does a loving God put things to an end? Why does He decide to operate under the expectations and definitions of an ignorant people? It is because they want nothing with his grace, this people (I am including myself) would much rather be measured up by our own accomplishments and standards than to accept the help or redemption of a “softy.”
Or swinging to the other extreme, by “embracing” grace I choose sin, belittling the sacrifice made. Neither of these paths embrace Gods love. He is both grace giver and judge…it is who He is. But more so He is infallible love; he judges by His love, He gives great mercy and grace by His love. The reason for His grace is to enable us for holiness. And not by our own efforts, we could never achieve or measure up. But by His great love we have been enabled to live a life of pure and holy love. Within my nature my love is weak, diseased, and will fail on many accounts…but by grace through faith I have been given a new heart that can effectively love God and love people the way that Christ loved me.

Lord God remove the idol of my mind that I have set in Your place. You are not cruel or irrational, You are merciful, full of goodness and new graces for every day…all Your ways are just and true. You are Holy God. Help me to take on Your Holiness, Your Righteousness through Christ, that I might see You for who You are; and that I might see people the way You see me. My broken love for Your unbroken heart. I thank You for Your sacrifice. Blessed be the name of The Lord, Holy One and True, Mighty, Father, My Great Peace.
Amen